What Killed ‘Em

Professional football is a fast-paced, intensely physical, and grueling sport. Walter Payton was a running back for the NFLs Chicago Bears for 13 seasons, from 1975 to 1987. The running back position is one of the most physical on the playing field. You get hit hard and your body takes a beating. Payton, also known as Sweetness, is revered as one of the most successful and prolific running backs in the history of the NFL. In 1987, The Sports Network established the Walter Payton Player of the Year Award to honor on an annual basis the most outstanding offensive football player in Division I college football.

Kenny McCormick is a one of the main characters on South Park, an animated adult television series that airs on Comedy Central. Kenny is best known for his recurring deaths across numerous episodes and seasons. He is apparently immortal, but no one aside from him seems to particularly notice, or care.

He once drove his car through the glass doors of a hotel. He then drove all the way up to the reception desk, got out, and asked for his room key. Such behavior was typical for the legendary madman drummer of the superstar English rock group the Who. You never knew what he was going to do next.

Cassidys sister, Lula Parker Betenson, stated that Butch Cassidy was not killed in Bolivia on that day and had returned to the US, living anonymously for years. It is speculated that Cassidy became William Thaddeus Phillips, who claimed to have known Cassidy from childhood and eventually settled in Spokane, WA. As for the Sundance Kid, some believe that he became William Henry Long and lived out his life in Duchesne, UT.

Robert Nesta Marley was born on February 6, 1945. He grew up poor in the rural community of Nine Miles, Jamaica. Going from bad to worse, while barely a teenager, Marley moved with his mother to the Kingston neighborhood of Trenchtown, which was a poverty-stricken ghetto.

Audrey Kathleen Hepburn-Ruston was born on May 4, 1929 in Brussels, Belgium to an aristocratic family. Her mother was the Dutch Baroness Ella van Heemstra (1900-1984) and her father was Joseph Victor Anthony Hepburn-Ruston (1889-1980), a handsome Englishman who didnt have a career but enjoyed the luxuries of mingling with the upper class. Josephs maternal grandmothers maiden name was Hepburn. In Brussels, the law considered Audreys heritage to be English (by her fathers lineage), and therefore she was always considered to be a British citizen.

It all started with Brian Jones. Jones was a founding member of the Rolling Stones. The cause of his death was officially “death by misadventure.” Depression, drugs, alcohol, and legal issues plagued his life. Jones had been arrested for cannabis possession on multiple occasions. Prior to his death, he had recently split from the Rolling Stones. His personal problems, conflicts within the band, and the fact that legal problems prohibited him from being able to tour in the US all contributed to his removal from the band. The coroner’s report revealed that he had an enlarged heart and liver damage. He drowned in his own swimming pool less than 1 month after being let go from the Rolling Stones, on July 3, 1969.

Harry Houdini, the famous escape artist, illusionist, and magician, was in Detroit on October 24, 1926 and performing at the Garrick Theatre during a successful tour when he succumbed to enormous pain. Only after the resolute performer had concluded the show was he examined by physicians and rushed to Grace Hospital. He was at the height of his career and 52 years old. He died 7 days later.

“WWE sends its sincere condolences” is how the announcement inevitably begins. The list of dead World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE)-contracted wrestlers has totaled more than 5 dozen over the past decade. But is it really a job worth dying for?

On April 8, 1994, an electrician named Gary Smith arrived at the Seattle home of Kurt Cobain, lead vocalist and guitarist for the band Nirvana, to install security lighting. As he walked around the property, he looked through a window and saw a body on the floor with a shotgun resting across its chest. Smith had no idea at the time who it was and contacted the police.

The details of her life were so tragic that they inspired Shakespeare to write a play. She was born into a dynasty that had ruled Egypt for at least 100 years before her birth. Her family was notorious for treachery, poisonings, and murder. They made The Sopranos look benevolent. Cleopatra was Macedonian/Greek, a direct descendant of Ptolemy, one of Alexander the Great’s generals, who took over Egyptian rule following Alexander’s death in 323 BC. Her father was King Ptolemy XII, and her mother was most likely her father’s sister. This isn’t really shocking since her family married among siblings, cousins, or other relatives to keep the rule of Egypt exclusive to their blood line.

As the 60-foot yacht Splendor set out for Catalina, a rocky island off the coast of southern California, Robert Wagner, Natalie Wood, Christopher Walken, and the ship’s captain were celebrating. The mood was high and the champagne was flowing as they toasted the successful completion of a new film starring Walken and Wood.

Washington is regarded as the father of our country, and indeed he was a brilliant leader and strategist who bedeviled the British and carried the Patriot cause that led to our independence from British rule. He became an international symbol for liberation and nationalism, especially in France and Latin America. He is consistently ranked among our best presidents and even turned down the opportunity to be crowned king of our new nation.

Walter Elias Disney was born on December 6, 1901 in Chicago, Illinois. He was an American entrepreneur who became an enormously successful animator, motion picture and television producer, and the creator of the original Disneyland, and he conceptualized Walt Disney World. Though born in Chicago, his early childhood was spent in Marceline, Missouri and then Kansas City. He began drawing at a very young age, and was an avid train enthusiast. Disney attended McKinley High School in Chicago and took art classes at the Chicago Art Institute. At age 16, he dropped out of school to join the army but was rejected for being underage. Not deterred, he joined the Red Cross and shipped out to France for a year, where he drove an ambulance. He returned from France, going back to Kansas City and deciding to pursue a career as an artist. Disney began screening his cartoons at local theaters, calling them Laugh-O-Grams, and they quickly became successful. He moved to Hollywood and developed a character he originally called Mortimer Mouse. His wife, Lillian, an ink artist, thought that the name wasn’t quite right and suggested Mickey Mouse instead. The first sound production featuring Mickey Mouse was Steamboat Willie, and it was a sensation! From there, many more cartoon characters followed, then feature-length animated films and the Disneyland theme park in California.

On September 17, 1965, barely 20 years after Nazi Germany surrendered, CBS began airing Hogan’s Heroes, a sitcom set in Stalag 13, a fictional German POW camp during World War II. The show followed the antics of a group of international prisoners who were covertly running Allied spy operations from within the camp, right under the noses of Colonel Klink and Sergeant “I know nothing” Schultz. It was farce, very silly, slightly offensive, and initially very popular, finishing its first season ranked 9th in the Nielsen ratings. The POWs were led by the charismatic Colonel Hogan, who was played by Bob Crane. In the show, Hogan was able to outsmart the Germans every episode while performing operations that, if he were caught doing in the actual war, would have gotten him summarily executed. In real life, in 1978, just 7 years after the show was cancelled, Crane was found bludgeoned to death in his apartment in Scottsdale, Arizona, possibly as a result of years of antics not as a POW, but as a lothario.

Vincent van Gogh, one of the most acclaimed artists of all time, sold 1 painting during his lifetime and achieved fame only after his death. Van Gogh was born on March 30, 1853 in Groot Zundert, Holland. He was the eldest surviving son of a pastor, and after a stint of working in art galleries as a young boy, at age 16 he switched gears and decided to follow in his father’s vocation. He studied evangelization and began a ministry for poor miners in Borinage, Belgium. However, his emotional state and lack of confidence probably precluded his ability to focus on his religious career. He was removed because of his erratic behavior and overzealousness. Encouraged and financed by his brother Theo, who was an art gallery manager, he became an artist.